this journal is rockin' out

Time:	8:39 am.
Mood:	good.

life is utterly and completely kick ass.

shit yeah.

i also really am loving my new school scheduale, and my lack of an english class.
last weekend involved some great jamming at the Big Top Chataqua for the "old, last, night".... some good times were had while driving home at three in the morning, listening to some opera and eating twizzlers. i've gota say, some people are just WAY to into opera, i mean. no offense or anything.

yesterday i went and saw adam's new puppies..they are ADORABLE. i wish that every day had some sort of baby animal involved and also some sort of rocking out to jamming. everything would be more fluffy and loveable. if only summer could have lasted an extra month.

summer being over now i'm looking at colleges . Shit. that's all i have to say. i love looking and going and getting but the process is so overwhelming that i might as well just stay at flipping northland *GAH*. a potential list includes..
-Berklee school of music. BOSTON USA!!! (very very awesome)
-Lawrence University (WI school..)
-Baldwin-Wallace University (Indiana school...)
-University of Wisconsin Stevens Point (pointers)
-University of Wisconsin Madison (mad-town)
-Appalachian State University (north carolina)
-University of the Pacific (Stockton CA)

this just overwhelms me. but it's all fun and games. in a way.

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Subject:	a few of my favorite things
Time:	8:23 pm.
Mood:	contemplative.

- raquetball
- my band
- my new cup. it's blue.
- mustang convertables (preferabley black)
- auto car mechanics
- people who play musical instruments.

the end.

p.s. i've started thinking that if everybody in the world played music, then most of the greater problems involving so much BULLSHIT would be solved. OR ELSE, maybe everyone would just be in too much awe of everyone else. stardom is to be achieved, but isn't reaching it more fun than actually being there? or is it the other way around. jeeze. i need some sleep i think.

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Time:	3:09 pm.
Mood:	cynical.

so once again here i am. in front of a goddamn computer thing. trying to work my way around a new problem. seems like problems arise to quickly in my life. but now and then a ride in a mustang convertable never hurt anyone.

i'm ready for school to start in a very big way. i love it and hate it and love it again, but it's still just there. which is something which is more dependable than a lot of people i know. maybe that's something i should work on. but until then. it'll be a week and some days and then we'll just be seniors.

people are always the same, until you get to know them. and i've realized that usually, when i get to know them, i don't like them very much... it's rough, but hey, there's usually another fiddle tune to learn or art project to do.... so i keep pluggin away. and listening to the same music and watching the same shows and seeing my friends that are my friends unconditionally, without any bullshit, and we're all okay.

in a very okay dokay sorta way.

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Subject:	bah dum... bah dum. bah dum bau dhm bau dhum.
Time:	6:51 am.
Mood:	determined.

so yesterday i was driving down mainstreet singing along to "the mission" when it occured to me that in less than a week and five days i may be sitting alongside a whole shit-ton of kids in AHS finishing my senior year. now, this in itself was not so frightening, so much as a little bit blase. blase in that, yet again, i will be chillin with a lot of kids that i don't always get along with and it may just be one of the most a.) interesting or b.) uninteresting years of my life.

so far, 17 has been intense, heroic, musically inclined, and if i may say so, quite creative.

two days ago i was sitting on my pal daniel's porch drinking ice water, eating an english muffin with jam, and singing ( i dont' really sing ) "old crow medicine show" songs with him and jesse. it created a very "homey" environment. i also really like english muffins.

i am going to start a kntitting project, finish the goddamn rehearsals for my upcoming gig, work on being a more open person (open as in caring, not as in sharing... or something.) AND, be a goddamn better fiddle player. shit.

yeah.

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Subject:	lamer than a piece of dried banana
Time:	8:04 pm.
Mood:	sad.

so. i feel really like.. confused.

but what's new. almsot nothing. except for the fact that i start back at school in two weeks and my first festival is on sunday (which i am SUPER excited about).. and i need new glasses.

i want to get contacts.

i also really miss my sisters. in particular curi. her room is empty. i already looked at all the clothes she left, sorry.. they're not the great :0.............. i'd rather have her.

blah. august, be done and lets have september fun.

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Subject:	etude song
Time:	12:24 pm.
Mood:	hahah.

so. i wrote this song the other day while sitting at my piano, drinking water from a batman sippy cup, listening to "making the band 3", and starring at my purple fingernails. i like to call it, "etude song". it reminds me of etudes. or something.

Etude Song

I wrote a song
for you
This is how it
goes
Words
can
fail me
I like the
notes.

Once you
write
them
they , note, back.

CHORUS!!!!!

ETUDE< ETUDE< ETUDE... you....
Etude, ETUDE< etude... you.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Subject:	be true to your school, just like you would to your girl
Time:	4:04 pm.
Mood:	happy.

goals for the summertime:

*become professional skimboarder. learn to do ollies/side-grabs/backflips/etc. etc.
*record cd. mix scottish with bluegrass. have majority of tracks me originals....
*eat a lot of fruit
*make a lot of money
*practice a lot for auditions
*go to the ocean in north carolina
*remember to wear sun-screen
*watch and .... it's about time.
*read ana korenina
*run a lot

+ or - 3 or 8 things.

also, i've decided that berklee is the school for me.

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Subject:	eyes on fire
Time:	2:51 pm.
Mood:	cold.

it was so dark out when i drove to school. raindrops were sliding one at a time down my windshield. fog drifted through the trees like steam off of pavement.

in psychology we've been talking about personalities and what we honestly think of our own personalities. i took the ACT personality test and it appears that i am strong minded. who would have guessed....

*curt took me out to the alley last night and we ended up in an arguement about immigration policies. i'm also pretty argumentative.

in two days i turn seventeen. in seven days my sister comes home to me. in 24 days i'm done with school. in 48 days curt leaves for school. in 36 days i go to north carolina to play fiddle with martin hayes.

*when i was driving home today the rain seeped through the crack in my window, landing on my cheek like kisses. i blew smoke out through the window and watch the fog closing in around me.

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Subject:	i don't like fishing.
Time:	7:48 pm.
Mood:	REALLY tired.

i just woke up. i think that i might invent a pill that you would take so that you wouldn't need to sleep. it would be a sort of "sleep substitute", and you would take it and you would get the full effects of sleeping for eight hours. just think of the market there would be for something like this. the average human being spends a third of their life asleep. that's one out of every three days where you aren't even conscious. think of how much more you would get out of life.

anyways....

prom was fun. curtis and i were looking good. if there was some sort of award for most enthusiastic/most good-looking/most fucked up couple at prom, we would have won.... like hands-down, kick YOUR ass! but yeah. we rocked the dance floor, even though the goddamn dj broke the bubble machine.

dinner beforehand was fucking amazing. let me just say that on the drive from my house to his there was a little, uh, relaxing... going on. and belgium waffles with whipped cream and strawberries were tasting a-ok. we washed it down with a little white wine and continued on our merry way to the dance. "dance, DANCE".

YEAH.

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Subject:	and when tomorrow comes where does yesterday go?
Time:	3:10 pm.
Mood:	full.

Go to Wikipedia.com and look up your birthday (excluding the year). List 3 neat facts, 2 births and one death in your journal including the year.

May 14

One death:

1940 - Emma Goldman, Lithuanian-born anarchist and feminist (b. 1869)

Two Births:

1904 - Hans Albert Einstein, American professor (d. 1973)

1971 - Sofia Coppola, American film writer and director

Three facts:

1995 - Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, proclaims six-year-old Gedhun Choekyi Nyima as the eleventh reincarnation of the Panchen Lama.

1939 - Lina Medina becomes the world's youngest confirmed mother in medical history at the age of five.

1787 - In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, delegates begin to meet to write a new Constitution for the United States.

*****************************

prom is in t-minus 2 days. he's making waffles for dinner and i'm getting my hair done up, as my mother says, "in a mohawk!".

i went running today by the lake and it felt like i was right next to the ocean. the wind was blowing drops of water onto my skin and i wanted to be in oregon with all of those crazy unschoolers at camp, looking at star fish and jumping in tide pools. but i'm here, writting essays about wuthering heights and reading hamlet and pretending to be asleep, when i'm really just day dreaming.

what's your state of consciousness?

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Subject:	wait a minute
Time:	10:37 pm.
Mood:	grumpy.

it's pretty ridiculous how easily i can get frustrated these days. by the stupidest stuff too.

but hey, what can a girl do?

my latest addiction is online boggle. jon and i played it for two hours straight in psychology today. we dominated. it was intense.

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Subject:	i really see you upside down
Time:	7:10 pm.
Mood:	content.

things i like :

*indian food
*umbrellas
*snow
*birthday cake
*hot cocoa
*rockin' out on my fiddle
*dangley earrings
*balloons
*curi
*curry

things i dislike :

*curi being far away
*being cold
*waking up early
*bright lights
*stupid girls
*having wet feet
*mushrooms

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Subject:	sleigh bells jingling
Time:	8:08 am.

since i haven't updated in a shit-ass long time i figured i better get around to it. and since i'm stuck at home coughing my head off, there's no better time than the present.

1. I have decided that, if necessary, i could probably live on dried mango. That shit is tasty.
2. I am sick. Sick as a dog. and achey all over.
3. I'm cutting my hair super short next week... once i'm done with the play i'm in.
4. Christmas is in a little over a week and I have purchased 1 present. That is bad.
5. No, despite the rumors Nori is NOT dating anyone named Charlie or Jesse... although i do think that Charlie is pretty hot.

so anyways, yeah. basically i'm stuck at home sleeping and drinking tea and choking on oil of oregano and hoping that i get better... the christmas carol opens tonight and i'm the fiddler for the damn show. it's snowing like cats and dogs (can it snow like cats and dogs????) here and i'm hoping to hit the slopes for the first time this weekend. put my season pass to use.

"it's a magical time of year, boys and girls."

and i'm spent. time for bed.

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Subject:	sunny and 70
Time:	5:33 pm.

so here i am. in west branch iowa at scattergood friends school. it's a crazy place full of interesting people and i am still exauhsted from fiddling in cali. i feel like i'm finally getting into the groove of things what with schoolwork and classes. i miss ashland and everyone there. it's been a lot harder than i thought it would be to leave. familiarity is what i miss the most.

california was awesome. we flew in around three and were greeted by a bunch of fiddle players waiting in the san diego airport. we drove on tiny winding roads past santa cruz and into the mountains where alasdair fraser was waiting to greet us in the woods of YMCA Camp Campbell. everyone played incredible music and stayed up too late drinking cheap red wine and jamming. by the end of the night everyone that was still up would go around to the different cabins and raid them... walking through them at five in the morning playing as loudly as possible. bridger and eliza and rachel and i would go swimming and then back to eat more delicious food. santa cruz was beautiful, full of beach and cafes that sold chocolate sorbet. the ending concert was amazing. everyone played to the beat of andre's shoes... and now i'm back.

back in the sense that i'm where i'm going to be for awhile.

and i'm going to see bob schnieder next wednesday. which is awesome.

my new address is:
Nori Perrine
Scattergood Friends School
Box 32
West Branch, IA
52358

the main reason of this post however was to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CURI! you're 21 and ready to hit the town. see you on friday and i love you so much!

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Time:	10:04 pm.
Mood:	exhausted.

decisions are lame. it would be so much easier if shit was just predetermined and you could just be like, "well, since the book says this, i guess that taking that jet ski ride on the amazon river is probably not a great idea... beings as i would definetely end up with way to much sunburn and would be eaten alive by water snakes the size of huge walking staffs."

and you would continue skipping along your little road forgetting about uthe amazon river jet ski ride and knowing that it was an awful idea and full of really terrible horrible things and that you're much better off having just kept going where you were with who you were around and that the water snakes were better off eating someone else.

life is way to complicated.

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Subject:	fly like an eagle
Time:	9:47 am.
Mood:	birds ROCK.

i saved a baby bird. god loves me even more.

it was trapped in my mom's car in the grill and i opened up the hood of the car and reached in and gently took it in my hands and it looked so cute and little and then it flew away!

either, a) this is a sign that i will have many wonderful experiences today, this week, or perhaps forever, with little or no negativity.

or

b) i'm easily amused.

in chemistry last week my friend erin and i were looking at the senior mosts and deciding what we would be. we decided i would be "goofiest/easily amused". somehow, the fact that i am the GOOFiest person in school seems a bit far-fetched, but shit man. i sure do like saving baby birds.

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Time:

11:11 pm.

something about asking myself the question "what could happen" really scares me. because at this point i almost feel like consequences don't really faze me. this is fucking scary to me. i'm almost afraid of what i feel like i'm turning into. someone that doesn't fucking give a shit. and i want to care, i really do. sometimes it's just a matter of time until something happens, but i feel like a huge part of my anger and resentment towards her is just sort of letting go. but this isn't a good thing. i just don't care what she has to say anymore. and this scares me. what scares me is how what she says affects me so much, that i start to believe it. that's what scares me.

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Time:	10:19 am.
Mood:	shitty..

i had a good birthday. i woke up early and baked a cake with my mom. i opened up my new quilt. sometimes it seems like all i want to do is crawl under it and curl up in a ball. my party was fun. lots of splashing and landing. umm. and yeah. things were done and presents were opened and candles were blown out and i'm sixteen and stuff.

and now i just feel like everything i've ever done is discredited due to a stupid grade on a mid-quarter that my parents would have never known about unless i felt like i needed to tell them. i just wanted to deal with it on my own but i'm trying to be more upfront about shit so i told them. and now, according to my mother i probably won't be getting into college. and it's a good thing the one that i am interested in, UW-stevens pointe isn't too hard to get into because by god, NORI IS STUPID!

i mean yes, i know i fucked up. but a c+ isn't the end of the world.
it seems like everything i do is just mediocre and everything i don't do is the deciding factor in my life.

MY life. key words there.

but then again i probably am just the fuck up.

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Subject:	seeing is believing
Time:	11:27 am.
Mood:	whoa. glasses..

i have to get glasses. i am near-sighted and need them for sure for driving, and may want to wear them all the time. does this suck? sort of. am i excited about glasses? yes. am i excited that my sight is getting worse? no. is it weird to think about what you see in relation to what others see? yes.

the end.

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